Always something to complain about
(Two Roman matrons meet outside the Lateran Basilica on the Sunday after the Edict of Milan, A.D. 313.)
"Yoo hoo, Livia, over here!"
"My dear Amelia, I haven't seen you since the Decian persecution! How are you?"
"WELL, I don't know about this new service. I was much happier back in that lovely little house church that Gaius Petronius built. He really did have an eye for mosaics."
"And now we HAVE to go to a service in a basilica. It's like having church in the Senate house. All those people. Hundreds of them! I haven't been in a basilica since Marcus had that nasty fraud trial."
"And did you see what the bishop was wearing? An ordinary chasuble isn't good enough for him. Now it has to have all that Macedonian needlework decoration."
"They say it's so he can be seen better"
"And did you see what the acolytes were carrying?!!!"
"You could have bowled me over with a feather! Incense!! In MY day, that was just apostasy. My grandfather was EATEN by a Libyan lion because he wouldn't sacrifice incense to the emperor. And now it's all over the place. I mean, really.... Must we adapt everything from those wretched pagans?"
"And what WAS the deacon singing today?"
"My daughter says they're writing new Alleluias to make the music more exciting."
"Well, MY mother's family was Jewish and we NEVER sang anything but the Temple psalm tunes. You never hear the old chants any more."
"Oh, my dear, it's just going to get worse and worse"
"What have you heard?"
"WELL! Don't quote me, but I heard that the service is going to change from Greek to Latin!"
"That's absurd! Greek is the language of civilization. Do you mean we have to give up Plato and Sophocles for those jumped-up moderns, just so everyone can understand the service?"
"My grandmother knew St. Paul, you know. She would roll over in her grave if she heard we were going to translate his letters. Although she did say that he spoke with such a funny Eastern accent."
"Oh my dear, I suppose we're just too old to give in to popular culture."
"SOMEONE has to maintain standards!"
"Precisely. Now shall we have a little lunch and go to the afternoon games? I hear the new gladiator doesn't shave his chest."
—anonymous
"Yoo hoo, Livia, over here!"
"My dear Amelia, I haven't seen you since the Decian persecution! How are you?"
"WELL, I don't know about this new service. I was much happier back in that lovely little house church that Gaius Petronius built. He really did have an eye for mosaics."
"And now we HAVE to go to a service in a basilica. It's like having church in the Senate house. All those people. Hundreds of them! I haven't been in a basilica since Marcus had that nasty fraud trial.""And did you see what the bishop was wearing? An ordinary chasuble isn't good enough for him. Now it has to have all that Macedonian needlework decoration."
"They say it's so he can be seen better"
"And did you see what the acolytes were carrying?!!!"
"You could have bowled me over with a feather! Incense!! In MY day, that was just apostasy. My grandfather was EATEN by a Libyan lion because he wouldn't sacrifice incense to the emperor. And now it's all over the place. I mean, really.... Must we adapt everything from those wretched pagans?"
"And what WAS the deacon singing today?"
"My daughter says they're writing new Alleluias to make the music more exciting."
"Well, MY mother's family was Jewish and we NEVER sang anything but the Temple psalm tunes. You never hear the old chants any more."
"Oh, my dear, it's just going to get worse and worse"
"What have you heard?"
"WELL! Don't quote me, but I heard that the service is going to change from Greek to Latin!"
"That's absurd! Greek is the language of civilization. Do you mean we have to give up Plato and Sophocles for those jumped-up moderns, just so everyone can understand the service?"
"My grandmother knew St. Paul, you know. She would roll over in her grave if she heard we were going to translate his letters. Although she did say that he spoke with such a funny Eastern accent."
"Oh my dear, I suppose we're just too old to give in to popular culture."
"SOMEONE has to maintain standards!"
"Precisely. Now shall we have a little lunch and go to the afternoon games? I hear the new gladiator doesn't shave his chest."
—anonymous
posted by King of Peace @ Tuesday, November 22, 2005
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