Never failing agape

James Peterson recounts a story of agape love in his book More I Could Not Ask:

One morning, a man in his thirties arrived at the rectory wanting to have a priest to take care of his father, who was dying. We traveled in his jeep over very rugged hillsides to the edge of the island. There was a lonely thatched hut, which seemed to me to be a piece of Africa. Inside, the only furniture was a thin hammock strung from one side of the room to the other. A thin, skeletal remnant of a man was lying in it. He was wrinkled, gray, breathing with difficulty. His wife, herself just a wisp of a human being, was gently swaying the hammock to cool and comfort him. She said nothing, but she was obviously glad at my arrival. She and her son left for a few minutes. The boy had told me his father had not received the sacraments for years, and I wanted to hear his confession. After confession, I called them back in, and they knelt there as I anointed the man. However, when I tried to give him communion, he pointed to his throat and shook his head.

The woman was on her feet almost at once; she took a small piece of cotton from a box and pointed to a glass of juice. Her husband had some throat obstruction, but if she dipped the cotton in juice and placed a small particle of the host on it, when he sucked in the juice, she knew he could receive communion. No theology; no embarrassment. She just wanted to give her husband communion before he died. I agreed readily, and she gave him communion. As soon as he received communion, she fainted. I realized she was hardly breathing, and while her son went for the doctor, I anointed her and prayed for her. She died just after her son returned. After a while, he said we ought to go back to the rectory. On the way back, I learned that he was one of ten children, but the only one who survived infancy. He loved his mother and would miss her a great deal, but he was convinced that she had gone on living for years after she was not strong enough to live simply because she did not want to die without helping her husband to make peace with God. When that happened, he knew she realized that her work was done. He didn't expect that his father would outlive her by more than a few days. The faith and love and simple reverence for the Eucharist that were brought together in that thatched hut were enormous.

He concludes by saying of the woman, “The strap of her sandal I am unworthy to loose.” Loving someone as much as you love yourself is what God’s love looks like. God’s love is more concerned about the other than your own self, but it is not about self-loathing, or being abused. Do you want to experience that sort of godly love for your friends, your family, your spouse? Then the love you have for them cannot start with you and go out to them. The love you have for others must start with God. See the other person as God sees them and loves them with all their faults. Seeing another person as God sees them is not always easy, but when you can do it, this love will never fail.

peace,
Frank+
The Rev. Frank Logue, Pastor + King of Peace Episcopal Church