Irenic Thoughts

Irenic. The word means peaceful. This web log (or blog) exists to create an ongoing, and hopefully peaceful, series of comments on the life of King of Peace Episcopal Church. This is not a closed community. You are highly encouraged to comment on any post or to send your own posts.


Time-Tested Words

The photo above is of our wedding 24 years ago today at St. George's Episcopal Church in Griffin, Georgia. It was a black and white that was never printed and so recently discovered as a negative and scanned. A lot changes in 24 years. Two of the men visible in the photo (my father and Victoria's grandfather) have since died. My brother Michael, a groomsman out of the frame on the right, did years ago as well.

But much has also stayed the same. I tend to think the couple getting married that day would recognize the current us as themselves and would not be too surprised at either the books we have written together or being church planters. And I know we would be so pleased and proud on that day to know of our daughter Griffin (named for her great-great grandmother, not the town where we were wed) and how wonderful a woman she is.

I saw an episode of Dexter recently where they were writing their own vows and wondering about how to capture their relationship and promises in words. I am so thankful for the Book of Common Prayer which has sustained my life in varied times with well written words that stand the test of time. Our vows that day did just that:

The Declaration of Consent
Frank, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

The answer "I will" was a much stronger one than the mere "I do" found in so many TV weddings. Of course we did those things on that day, the real promise was to say we will.

The Marriage
In the Name of God, I, Frank, take you, Victoria, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Victoria, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

My words would have fallen short. These time-tested words were stronger. While living into them has not been easy, it has been a deeply rewarding 24 years. I think the version of ourselves that made those promises that day would agree.

with love for my bride,


  • At 9/07/2009 4:07 PM, Blogger Tom Sramek, Jr. said…

    Congratulations to you both. Lisa and I are 17 years and counting.

  • At 9/08/2009 1:44 PM, Anonymous Amber said…

    Congratulations!! When Geoff and I renewed our vows last year at 10 years of marriage it was amazing how much more the ceremony meant to us. We wrote our own vows and organized everything together to celebrate with our family and each other what incredible love God had blessed us with!! I look forward to many more year together. God bless you and Victoria!! We are so thankful your family came into our lives :)

  • At 9/25/2009 12:13 PM, Blogger averagecandy said…

    I'm gonna go ahead and say happy early anniversary for next year.


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