True reconciliation is not cheap

We do not usually rush to expose our vulnerability and our sinfulness....If a husband and a wife have quarreled without the wrongdoer acknowledging his or her fault by confessing, so exposing the cause of the rift; if a husband in this situation comes home with a bunch of flowers and the couple pretends all is in order, then they will be in for a rude shock. They have not dealt with their immediate past adequately. They have glossed over their differences, for they have failed to stare truth in the face for fear of a possible bruising confrontation.

They will have done what the prophet calls healing the hurt lightly by crying, “Peace, peace where there is no peace.” They will have only papered over the cracks and not worked out why they fell out in the first place. All that will happen is that, despite the beautiful flowers, the hurt will fester. One day there will be an awful eruption and they will realize that they had tried to obtain reconciliation on the cheap. True reconciliation is not cheap. It cost God the death of His only begotten Son.

—Desmond Tutu (1931- )

Over at On Faith, the panelists are answering the question "What is the relationship of apology (repentance) to forgiveness?" That's at Apology and Forgiveness