Better Justice

Forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness of God to work out. I leave in God's hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.

—Philip Yancey

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an unnatural act.

—Philip Yancey

Forgiveness is not just an occasional act:
it is a permanent attitude.

—Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.

—Dag Hammarskjold

Forgiveness is the final form of love.

—Reinhold Niebuhr

Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.

—George MacDonald

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.

—Saint Augustine of Hippo

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

—Jesus Christ in Matthew 6:14

The Bridge

He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would reach heaven: for every one has need to be forgiven.

-Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

They didn't know what they were doing

I ran across an ABS News article, Surviving Columbine: What We Got Wrong. The article begins telling of Patrick Ireland known as "The Boy in the Window" as the 17-year old who had been shot in the brain and foot was filmed hanging out of a library window. The brain injury initially paralyzed his right side and wiped out the language center in his brain. Ten years later, the 27 year old has rebuilt that part of his neural pathways and is married and works for Northwestern Mutual. The article ended telling of Ireland's forgiveness for the shooters.

At one point, when he was hospitalized, his mother asked, "Do you have any anger toward them?"

"She was harboring a lot of anger," Ireland told ABCNews.com. "To sum it up, I basically said, 'Please forgive them.' She looked and asked, 'Why?' Because they were confused and didn't know what they were doing.

"We have a choice in how we live our lives," he said. "You wake up every single day and have a choice as living as a victim or a victor. When you choose to be a victor, you have so much more positive impact on how people view you and the way you want to live your life."

It is a Christ-like act of forgiveness for those who did their best to kill him.

The Truth About Forgiveness

Bernard looks at a photo of his son.
The Washington Post magazine section had a wonderful article this past weekend, The Truth of Forgiveness. Karen Houppert's well-written article begins:

After his son was murdered, Bernard Williams became consumed by anger and depression. There was, he came to realize, only one way to save himself.

Fourteen years ago, Bernard's neighbor shot his 17-year-old son on a Baltimore street. Shot him with a semiautomatic rifle that left a hole in his chest so big that Bernard's wife swears she could see the pavement, plain as day, through the giant wound. Shot him in a fit of pique, a moment of vigilante justice. Shot him when the teen and some friends were goofing around, dribbling a basketball down the street. Shot him after Bernard's son had knocked into the neighbor's Toyota 4Runner truck, set off the car alarm, roused him from his slumbers. Because he was angry at kids who'd been harassing him with that car alarm, because he had a Ruger Mini-14 handy, because he knew how to use this lightweight version of the military's M14 as he fired out of his bedroom window just after midnight. Shot Vernon Williams dead on May 21, 1994, one month after his 17th birthday.

For Bernard Williams, even 14 years later, it is hard to think about the man who killed his son. The scene still plays out in his head over and over. The sirens. The police helicopter. The flashing lights. His dead son in his arms. The police leading the suspect, William Norman, out of the house. Norman's girlfriend spying Bernard hunched over his son's body. "That your son?" she asked. And again, "Bernard, that your son?" And then an awful recognition. "I'm sorry."

But for Bernard, forgiveness comes hard. It requires peeling back the layers of a life, tracing the arc of relationships, recasting a narrative over and over to worry some telling detail. Sometimes it means going right to the source, confronting the offender in a quest for answers. And, as Bernard has come to realize, it also requires forgiving yourself.

It is a true story of forgiveness worth the read.

Made Whole, Made Clean

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.

—Dag Hammarskjold (1905-1961)

The Final Form of Love

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense
in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous
from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love,
which is forgiveness.

—The Rev. Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

The Bridge to Heaven

He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.

—the Rev. George Herbert (1593-1633)

How often should I forgive?

Real forgiveness is not a purely interpersonal matter,
but it reaches deeply into the relationship of men before God.
—Gerhard von Rad
In tomorrow's Gospel reading Peter asks Jesus, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." Then he tells a parable of a man forgiven of an enormous debt who is unforgiving to one who owes him much less. Jesus concludes by admonishing his followers to "forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Katerina Whitley has preached on this parable saying,

The king in the parable acts with magnanimity and compassion. When the slave begs to be forgiven the debt and not to be sold, the king releases him and forgives the whole debt, which is enormous. The problem comes when the man who is forgiven does not have the same grace and compassion toward those who are indebted to him. This parable makes tangible the meaning of the pleading in the Lord’s prayer: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”

Like so much else in the life of faith, it is a paradox. God cannot forgive us until we forgive others. Instead of the Creator initiating the act, it is the creature who must make the first move in forgiveness. This is the only obstacle to God’s forgiveness: our own refusal to forgive.

Forgiveness is much more beneficial to the one who forgives than to the one who is forgiven. All of us know that this is not just theory but understand its truth from experience. Jesus told it as a story that fitted the context of his time. Centuries later, human understanding of emotions would assert this in psychology: forgiving, letting go of feelings of revenge and retribution, is a potent healing act.

As individuals, most of us have experienced the great release of being able to forgive. It has nothing to do with sentiment; it is a powerful act of will.

The full text of her sermon is online here: Real Forgiveness

In the archives is the religion column Forgiving means forgetting and other forgiveness myths.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses,
your Heavenly Father will Also forgive you.
—Jesus (Matthew 6:14)

Reconciliation

Forgive wicked offenses so that you can receive a royal pardon for your own offenses. The greater the wrongs you forgive, the greater the pardon you will receive. Therefore, we have been told to say, "Forgive us, as we forgive." This teaches us that the measure of our forgiveness begins with us. As a result, the degree to which we benefit from the enemy's attacks is proportionate to their severity. So then let us eagerly seek reconciliation with those who might have hurt us, whether or not they were right...

Christ tells us to go to those who provoke us. He said, "Forgive your debtors in order that your Father may also forgive your trespasses." Christ didn't offer us a small reward, but an exceedingly great one. So then, reflecting on all this, considering the reward, and remembering that wiping away sins doesn't take much work and passion, let us forgive those who have wronged us.

—St. John Chrysostom (347-497)

Power for the Forgiving

My wife, Victoria, and I are leading a retreat at Honey Creek on Friday August 24 and Saturday, August 25. The theme is Power for the Forgiving and it is the first of three retreats in the Journy to Wholeness series.

The Journey to Wholeness Retreats offer an opportunity for you to deepen your understanding of Christian spirituality along a given theme. The theme for the Fall 2007 retreat will be Power for the Forgiving. Forgiveness is dynamite from a spiritual perspective. An almost selfish act because of the positive effects it has on you, forgiving others is the path toward discovering forgiveness for yourself.

The all-inclusive cost is $80 for a single room, $60 for a double, $45 for a dorm room, or $35 for commuters. Some scholarship assistance is available. You must register by 5 p.m., August 10, 2007 in order to take part in this retreat.

Tentative Schedule

Friday, August 24, 2007

6 p.m. Dinner
7 p.m. Opening session
8 p.m. First break out sessions
9 p.m. Taize Compline worship service

Saturday, August 25, 2007

8 a.m. Breakfast
8:30 a.m. Morning general session
9:30 a.m. Saturday break out sessions
11 a.m. Final general session
12 noon Lunch
1 p.m. Closing Eucharist with healing prayers
Honey Creek is the Episcopal Camp and Conference Center at the north end of Camden County. The center is located 5.5 miles east of I-95 at exit 26. To register, contact Honey Creek at (912) 265-9218 or honeycreekga[at]aol.com

For more information on the other retreats for Advent and Lent, go to kingofpeace.org/journeytowholeness/.

peace,

Frank+
The Rev. Frank Logue, Pastor

Forgiveness en masse

Yesterday's L.A. Times carried a story of two men finding the means to forgive in the wake of genocide. They are an American Armenian and a Rwandan and both are minister's trying to help their people find the means to forgive. The article tells part of the Rwandan's story of losing 152 relatives, including his mother in the 1994 tragedy that swept through his central African nation,

For Kayumba, the transformative moment came unexpectedly. Two months after the genocide had ended, he drove from Kigali to his family's village to face his mother's killer. Kayumba learned his identity through other villagers. The two men had grown up together. When he saw the man walking along a road, Kayumba said, his anger surged and he tried to run the man over.

The young man dived into a ditch, unharmed. As Kayumba jumped out of the car and made for the trembling man, he said, a voice filled his head.

"Don't take revenge," said the voice he identifies as the Holy Spirit. "Revenge is mine."

Kayumba said he looked into the eyes of his mother's killer. The man did not ask for forgiveness, but Kayumba did — for trying to kill the man. Kayumba offered absolution as well. His mother's murderer could go. Kayumba had forgiven him.

"The anger, frustration and trauma was totally gone," Kayumba said. "Instead, I immediately felt relief, peace and love for this person. That's why I say forgiveness is for us, our own benefit. Hatred and anger can kill you."

The full text of the article is online here: Preaching the power of forgiveness many times over

Death in Liturgy

In an email discussion group on worship to which I belong, there was a discussion of people killed in worship services including Oscar Romero, who died celebrating communion, and Dr. Martin Luther King's mother, who was assassinated while playing the organ at Ebenezer Baptist Church.

The discussion then took a turn with an amazingly bleak turn story related by the Rev. Donald Schell:

The most startling story I've heard of death in the liturgy was from Frank Houdek, S.J., a superb teacher at the Jesuit School of Theology in Berkeley. It's a story of another kind of violence.

One of Frank's teaching specialties was discernment - classical Jesuit stuff nuanced with contemporary theology and other sources as well, and a really fine apologetic and interpretation of all this in experience and storytelling. To explore the question of 'how we know God?' he had a whole list of ways and stories to go with them, silence, beauty, human love, and so on, and the last one (which took a strong story to make it clear) was God's absence, the void.

The story he told was that as a Jesuit novice in St. Louis, fifty plus years ago, his novice house had an notorious feuding pair of retired, old Jesuits; their feud was talked of throughout North America, though no one was sure how it had begun. They were about the same age and had probably been novices and seminarians together, and now they hadn't spoken to one another for years and years.

One morning Frank was serving one of the old men in at 'his mass' at an old-fashioned monastic church with as many small altars as there were clergy in the community. Suddenly the other priest at a nearby altar collapsed in a heap, and lay barely breathing, crumpled face down on the floor. His old despised adversary stopped 'his mass' and he and Frank rushed over and turned the gasping crumpled body face up so he could breathe, and when the dying man opened his eyes to see who it was, with his last breath he uttered the bitter words stored up for half a century, 'Take your God-damned hands off me you bastard.'

Frank described the darkness and void he felt in that moment as so bleak and intense and empty of God, that God's presence in the ordinary moment before was palpable. He said that recalling that event and the despairing anger of the old priest's end over many years, opened him to looking for and feeling the presence of God in ordinary moments.

I am horrified at the idea of two monks, both of whom were priests, nurturing such bitterness. It is an extreme example of the ways in which any of us can harbor anger, or feed a grudge.

Let the stark outline of this true story recall you to the healing Jesus has for you. Who do you need to forgive? What anger are you hanging on to? In the archives, there is a related religion column Forgive others and unlock your heart

Then there is Frank Houdek's teaching point itself that the moments in life when God seems most absent can help us be more in tune to God's presence in the ordinary moments of our lives.

peace,
Frank+
The Rev. Frank Logue, Pastor

Forgiveness is not being sentimental

In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously and not minimizing it; drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens to poison our entire existence. It involves trying to understand the perpetrators and so have empathy, to try to stand in their shoes and appreciate the sort of pressures and influences that might have conditioned them.

Forgiveness is not being sentimental. The study of forgiveness has become a growth industry... Forgiving has even been found to be good for your health.

Forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim. In the commission we heard people speak of a sense of relief after forgiving. A recent issue of the journal Spirituality and Health had on its front cover a picture of three U.S. ex-servicemen standing in front of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C. One asks, “Have you forgiven those who held you prisoner of war?” “I will never forgive them,” replies the other. His mate says: “Then it seems they still have you in prison, don’t they?”

—Desmond Tutu (1931- )

Today's religion column for the Tribune & Georgian is Forgiving means forgetting and other forgiveness myths

True reconciliation is not cheap

We do not usually rush to expose our vulnerability and our sinfulness....If a husband and a wife have quarreled without the wrongdoer acknowledging his or her fault by confessing, so exposing the cause of the rift; if a husband in this situation comes home with a bunch of flowers and the couple pretends all is in order, then they will be in for a rude shock. They have not dealt with their immediate past adequately. They have glossed over their differences, for they have failed to stare truth in the face for fear of a possible bruising confrontation.

They will have done what the prophet calls healing the hurt lightly by crying, “Peace, peace where there is no peace.” They will have only papered over the cracks and not worked out why they fell out in the first place. All that will happen is that, despite the beautiful flowers, the hurt will fester. One day there will be an awful eruption and they will realize that they had tried to obtain reconciliation on the cheap. True reconciliation is not cheap. It cost God the death of His only begotten Son.

—Desmond Tutu (1931- )

Over at On Faith, the panelists are answering the question "What is the relationship of apology (repentance) to forgiveness?" That's at Apology and Forgiveness

When we love, we heal

If we haven't been healed of the wounds of our past life, there is a strong possibility that we'll pass those wounds on to others—our community, our family members, friends and so on...

An unwillingness to forgive others for the real or imaginary wrongs they have done us is a poison that can affect our health—physical, emotional and spiritual—sometimes very deeply...

Healing, praying and loving all go hand in hand. Healing is loving. When we heal, we love; when we love, we heal; when we love one another, we affirm, we nurture and we cherish that person. Sometimes in our lives we can try to solve a problem and there is time for that. But sometimes just letting ourselves love again and be loved can solve so many problems. When we let go and just soak up love from the Lord and others, we have a whole new power to go on again...

Healing does not usually take place instantly but is a process. Deep pain and resentment, which have developed over time, will usually take time and love and patient prayer to heal. Often there are layers of hurt, resentment and un-freedom that need to be uncovered in prayer. Once one layer of hurt, resentment and un-freedom has been healed, others may present themselves for healing. We know we are healed when we can recall the hurting experience without trauma.

—The Rev. Peter Hosking as quoted in Richard Carter's book In Search of the Lost.

Hosking made these remarks as he worked with the Melanesian Brotherhood in the aftermath of their peacemaking efforts putting them in situations no one should have to see or experience including the deaths of seven of their members. These remarks seem worth revisiting in this week of a nation coming to terms with a massacre. Hosking's words speak to all sorts of pain, and of a type of healing needed by many whose experiences in life have layered on hurt, resentment and un-freedom.

How do you welcome a sex offender?

Linda pointed out an article in The New York Times, Sex offenders test church's core beliefs. The test is for Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Carlsbad, California. The church sign says "all are welcome," but how welcoming they are to sex offenders is an open question. The church's struggle came after a registered sex offender sent an email to the pastor saying that he was moving to the town and wanted to know if he would be welcome at the church. The pastor thought that by setting limits that the man would avoid children and always be escorted by an adult, the issue would not present a problem.

But the 300 member church had a variety of reactions including those who said, "If he stays, I leave," while others said "If he leaves, I leave." A member of the congregation who was molested as a child said, “But what do you say to one member who was abused for 10 years, several times a week? By welcoming one person, are we rescinding our welcome to some of the survivors among us, people in pain and healing, members of our family?”

Publicity over the church's dispute led to the sex offender losing his job and his housing. He is now homeless. The church is still working on a written policy and in the meantime, the sex offender can not worship at the church, but instead meets with a small group from the church.

What would we do here?
As a church with a lot of children in church and activities for kids including children's church and scouting, we certainly have policies in place to protect our children. I know that our church is safe in terms of what takes place at church.

I would not fear for our children if a registered sex offender wanted to come to worship. Obviously that person would never be allowed to work with children's church or Kids in the Kingdom or other children's ministries. There is a difference between forgiveness and hospitality and opening up a person to needless temptation. So, if someone came and worshipped that would be fine. Though I would find that given the high number of churches with low to no attendance by children, that there might be less problematic places to worship than King of Peace.

The real danger is not the known offender looking for a place to join others in worship. The danger is the person not known to be an offender. The one who acts perfect on church grounds and so engenders trust and then gains access to children away from church, with our policies and procedures.

Forgiveness starts this evening
Wrapped up in this issue are issues of forgiveness. What does it mean to forgive? Do you have to forget? Tonight from 7-8 p.m. we begin a study on the process of forgiveness. I'll lead the four sessions in which we will consider these questions and learn more about the relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation, and none of it involves forgetting.

Questions
A couple of questions for y'all? Should the church have let everyone know the sex offender was coming to worship or just those in leadership? Should the church have been more welcoming or less?

peace,
Frank+
The Rev. Frank Logue, Pastor

Genuinely Forgive Sin

Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430) wrote of forgiveness,

The greatest gift you can give is to genuinely forgive sin committed against you. It is a comparatively small thing to wish someone well or to do good to someone who hasn’t hurt you. But it is much greater to love and wish your enemy well. When you have the opportunity, do good to those who want to make you suffer and do you harm. For in doing this you obey God’s command: “Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that persecute you,” This is a frame of mind that only the children of God can reach.

All believers should strive after it, by prayer earnestly struggling with themselves to attain this standard. However, such a high degree of goodness should strive after it, by prayer earnestly struggling with themselves to attain this standard. However, such a high degree of goodness can hardly be met by all the people who pray. “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” In view of all this those who don’t yet love their enemies can fulfill this command when they forgive someone from the heart who has sinned against them.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses,
your Heavenly Father will Also forgive you.
—Jesus (Matthew 6:14)