Irenic Thoughts

Irenic. The word means peaceful. This web log (or blog) exists to create an ongoing, and hopefully peaceful, series of comments on the life of King of Peace Episcopal Church. This is not a closed community. You are highly encouraged to comment on any post or to send your own posts.

4/28/2009

O God Help Me!

The Christian life is not a constant high.
I have my moments of deep discouragement.
I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes,
and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.'
-The Rev. Billy Graham (1918- )

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posted by King of Peace @ Tuesday, April 28, 2009  

13 Comments:

  • At 4/28/2009 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The Christian life is moments of high while the deep discouragement is relentless most of the time. Why should I have to beg God for mercy when I've been trying to be his good and faithful servant all along?

    Not buying this anymore.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 7:42 AM, Blogger King of Peace said…

    You don't have to beg God for mercy as mercy is all around, yet sometimes it is so difficult, if not impossible, to find in the moment. Later on looking back at tough points in life it is all clear, that God was present, even, or perhaps especially when seeming absent.

    Though this is no comfort to the person in the midst of crisis, it remains true. So why doesn't one see or feel love and mercy and grace in times of doubt and despair...sometimes because we are not open to it, sometimes because it takes forms we wish it didn't take, sometimes because we are hurting so much that everything wounds even the very things that will bring healing, and at times for reasons I can't fathom.

    Anonymous, I realize that these words don't help as I write about this all making sense at some future point at a time when you may be wondering if you can get through this day, or even the coming hour. But the words are true, the best answer I have from experience, and so I offer something less than you need while praying for God to give you all you need.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 7:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Still not buying it. If God were an all loving father we wouldn't have to play these games of trying to figure out when he's there, why this and that, etc...

    Right now, it looks as if I'm his amusement and he's laughing. No more. I'm done.

    I apologize for wasting your time.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Anonymous,

    Well said, I have to agree with you! I am finding it hard to believe He is all loving, while being still so absent.

    We are on separate ends of the boat, but still in the same boat.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 11:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is clear you both are hurting or have difficult times right now. I can't say I know exactly what you are going through. But I have been through tough times and I'm sure there are more to come. I have even been angry with God. But that just made the horrible situation I was in even harder and darker. All I can hope and pray is that you realize He is with you even when you don't want Him there and He does care and love you very much!! When I'm having a hard time or day I do my best to count my blessings and realize there are others out there that have it far worse and they even still have faith in God. Please don't give up and know that the God IS with you and will be there when you are ready. My prayers are with you.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 2:09 PM, Anonymous Val Weave said…

    Well true, well if you see God's presence as some sort of "game" then I just wonder what exactly you expect from the divine creator. It would be easier if everything were good all the time for us, and no challenges or road block ever bothered us on the path. But then would we really choose to have a relationship with God? What kind of relationship would that look like? Buy it or not, its not for sale, setting yourself to another end of a boat seperate from everybody else is missing the point. We are all in the same boat all the time. Some of us row, some of us navigate, some of us tend the masts, take your pick. This is a working faith and a fighting faith, if you feel mislead for whatever reason. Read some scripture, and read some history. You will see that early Christians didnt have a long and fruitful life. Many were put to death, their children put to death, tortured you name it. Yet generations still remain, and grow. Why because its not the treasures of this world that are promised its something more. Something beyond our finite understanding in all things. If it does not speak to you, thats okay, walk your path as you choose, be thankful for you choice. Just know that many people die even today in faith to God and to Christ. So if your really having a bad day and wonder why God has "left you behind" Give a few seconds to think about others who cry out for the love of God while seeing their families put to death, and in the aftermath still hold on to their faith. Peace.

     

  • At 4/28/2009 4:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wanted to say a few words about the comments from VW above. I think that it is arrogant and judgemental to say that the two anonymouses feel the way they do about god because they are having bad days. VW has not walked in their shoes amd does not know anything about whjy they feel lost. People don't just feel like god does not love them because of a bad day.
    They could have cried out in vain for his love for a very long time and got nothing.I see the point about the all loving father. Parents don't continue to test and ignore their kids in times of trouble. They would never trust their parent again.These people never said that they expected things to always be good. You VW do not know how much bad they've had to take.

     

  • At 4/29/2009 11:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you to the last Anonymous. To AV, I have lost, I lost my son at age 2 from a heart defect and the other to my ex husband after we lost our son and than a daughter who I took away from him. He lost control and I needed to protect my child.

    My ex-husband killed himself because of me, my son died because of me. I took all that was important to my husband away and he was lost. My son’s heart didn’t develop as it should have while I carried him and he died.

    I am not in the same boat with everyone! What greater loss can you have than for GOD to take the love of your life? A precious child, who was so very much loved, a husband who lost and lost again.

    I have caused much death and distinction in my life; you have no idea the trials I have been through AV!!! For you to say we are all in the same boat is ridicules.

    I can feel for the first anonymous I know her and what she is dealing with each and every day. So when we question the love of God don’t categorize us. We are all different and dealing with much different things in our lives.

    I for one have to figure out why I bring on such hurt and distraction in my life. But please don’t judge my faith or my understanding of the word. I read the bible every day. I pray from my book of common prayer every day, but I’m still lost and just trying to make sense of it all. I am questioning why I don’t feel the love of God everyone tells me is there. Just open up to Him they say.

     

  • At 4/29/2009 5:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I understand about people saying to open up to Him. Just when you finally get the courage to do so, "WHAM!" Knocks you right back into your armor!

     

  • At 4/29/2009 7:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Father Frank,

    Sorry about the can of worms. But, what about when you just don't want to wake up or live anymore? Shouldn't God step in before he pushes you to that point? It got worse today. More and more crap!Itwould all work out better without me anyway. Financially, emotionally, all around.

    So, sorry to everybody for complaining. Hope I didn't offend anyone!

     

  • At 4/29/2009 8:34 PM, Blogger King of Peace said…

    No offense taken. But I wish I could help.

    I don't think God pushes anyone to any point. People take care of that for us and life self complicates due to a BUNCH of free will choices made by all of us. It is not God's making, but ours.

    Not YOU mind you, but US. We hurt one another. We create harm. We do things unsafe. And God who gave us free will can not both give free will and take it away by taking away any bad consequences of ours and others choices. We can and do things that are not God's will and those things hurt others.

    So I am NOT blaming the victim and I do say that the very real things y'all have faced are not of your own doing, certainly not alone anyway.

    But one of the anonymous responders (and I don't know who folks are and can't guess as the facts fit more than one person and more than 200 people a day stop in here so don't count on me knowing anything) referred to a heart problem and a suicide being his or her fault. Whoever you are, you are not that powerful. You did not do it. You are not to blame. How do I know this? Because suicide does not fall to one cause. I am healthy and otherwise fine and nothing you do can "make" me kill myself. And so a suicide can not be someone else's fault. It just can't. Something else must be going on.

    And yes, I take seriously the very real problems faced by people who stop in here and no I don't know what you are going through or have been through. But in the ways possible in this very finite way of communicating, I want to be as clear as I possibly can that there is real and certain reason to believe in God, to trust God and to know that God loves us and is working all this junk in our lives to the good. That's scriptural. It fits with my experience and it doesn't even begin to help y'all in crisis I know, but I don't want to leave that unsaid.

    This is the poorest possible means for spritual cousel or therapy and I hope that those who can speak to me will and those who are elsewhere will find someone to talk to. You should not go through the hell you face alone.

    with love,
    Frank+

     

  • At 4/29/2009 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fr. Frank,

    you're a good person. Sincere...I've listened to you and it's not your fault.

     

  • At 4/30/2009 10:48 AM, Anonymous Val Weave said…

    Whoa, sorry I struck a nerve, I wasnt putting down anybody's experiences here. Well dont take my "arrogant" advice then, I was trying to say we are all in this together and when it seems we are alone and cut off we really are not. I am not concerned that one believes in God or not, its not my place, never has been. It isnt a measuring competition, I have seen humans do some horrid things to each other all over the world. But blame God for it, it is obviously working out for ya. Peace!

     

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